it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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