Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
