WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think people are normalizing furries
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
