Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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