An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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