woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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