you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
