Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Text me some of your sweat
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
