we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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