Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
