Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
