She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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