Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
