so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
