dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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