Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Panties = found
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