Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
