She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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