I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Pooping to opera.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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