I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize