True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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