..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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