she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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