I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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