She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
