I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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