i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize