I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize