let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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