i barfeds in our rink
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
