may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Shame - the story of my life.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
