I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
