Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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