at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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