we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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