You just made me feel so damn special
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
