All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
someone owes me an orgasm
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize