my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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