Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
