I'm lost and stupid without you.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
