i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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