he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
