If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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