he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
