Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Already got asked if we're dating
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
