i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
