"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
