he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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