he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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