my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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