Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
