wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
