you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
