This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
