I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
