Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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