I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
