Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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