It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
