Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
