Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
