Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
