I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
