4 words: hood of his car
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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