Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
