So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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