I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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