whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize