I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize