i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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