They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
