i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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