i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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