I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
