I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
