Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
